Classmates Part 10

Well, here’s part 10, I came in to escape the heat and humidity for a little while, so I took the opportunity to post part 10.

I don’t have much free time now that summer is here, so I have to take advantage of the free time when I can get it.

Sharon

Sharon got married and moved to Oregon. She runs a few Starbucks. She does all her own dental work. She likes to go into crowded elevators and make people think the guy next to her did it.

Dave

Dave married Sharon and moved to Mississippi. He later got divorced. He likes to patrol the interstate and stop the bad people. Maybe some day he will become a policeman

Connie

Connie has been married twice. She went to college and got an undergraduate degree in business management. She does charity work teaching people how to use toilet paper.

Kevin

Kevin went on to college and returned to the area. He is divorced. He says with a little luck he could become a garbage man some day.

Charlie

Charlie is a professor of nuclear physics at M.I.T. He and his wife have 3 children; DeVon, Shawnequa, and Ralph. He sometimes stinks like rotten cheese.

Classmates Part 9

Well here we are again kiddies, part 9 of my classmates series.

I finally got some time to work on this, so here we are.

If you like it, feel free to leave a comment. If you are one of the people listed here, or know one, leave a comment. I’d really like to know what you think.

Pat

Pat went on to college and became the student body president because she had such a nice student body. She returned home and got married and started a family. Her husband races stock cars on the weekend. On nice summer evenings she can be found standing on the roof of her house, completely naked except for paper bags on her feet, shouting “Give me liberty or give me a potato!!!”

Sue

Sue married Gilbert after high school and moved to Kentucky. She has a very large family. Gilbert works as a mechanic at a car dealership, and Sue works part time as a professor at the local clown college.

Charlie

Charlie got a job with the railroad as a conductor. He enjoys shouting “All aboard!” Maybe some day he’ll do it when he’s at work. He got thrown out of Wal-mart because he made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies room.

Julie

Julie moved to Nevada and got married. She has a long neck now from eating too much beef jerky. She wished her husband took more Viagra.

Ronnie

Ronnie went to West Point and did a stint in the military. When he got out, he moved to Colorado and got married. He likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. His doctor told him to wear a helmet. He likes it when people call him “Mr. Sticky”

Adventures With Dish Network, Part 2

I had a response to my posting about my dealings with Dish Network, and I replied with the following letter. I decided to post it here in case there was anybody else going crazy dealing with Dish Network/India.

 

Jessica,
Thanks for your comment. Sorry it took so long to get back to you.

I’ve had a few more dealings with Dish Network since my posting.

I called them to reactivate the receiver for the summer (the bill listed it in “pause” mode). I also changed the programming to Bronze 100 with locals.

I was lucky enough to reach someone in Texas, thank god. I told her that I would be using it at the weekend home, and didn’t have it hooked up yet. She told me that it was reactivated and the programming changed, and I would have everything going when I hooked it up and turned it on.

I went to the weekend home for a long memorial day weekend. I hooked up the receiver and turned it on, and nothing. All I got was a message saying that the smart cart was not authorized to receive any programming. I tried all Thursday night to get it going, but nothing worked. I did bring a bunch of DVD’s, so we started watching them.

The next day I drove 75 miles home and called Dish Network. I reached someone in India, and knew I was sunk. She told me that I would have to have the TV in front of me to read the error message to her. I told her that I was 75 miles away from it, and couldn’t see it; I did tell her what the error codes were, but she insisted that I had to have the TV in front of me, and wanted me to read off the error codes that were being displayed. I told her repeatedly that I was 75 miles away from the TV. but she couldn’t seem to understand me. I finally gave up, hung up, and drove back to the weekend home.

After the long weekend, I brought the receiver home, hooked it up to the old dish (we switched to ATT broadband for the house) and a TV, and called again. This time I was connected to a guy in Texas! I told him what was wrong, and he had me up and running in 5 minutes.

I talked to him a while, and he told me that when he runs into similar situations, he hangs up and keeps calling back until he reaches someone in the US. ( Nudge nudge wink wink).

I asked him about the bill, being charged for service that I didn’t get, and he said that he would take care of it and then some to make up for the hassle. THAT made my day! A little sunshine on an otherwise gloomy day.

Hope the info helps.

Kev

Classmates Part 8

Well it seems I’ve caught a little bit of a break, so I thought I’d put up part 8 of my series about my classmates. So, without further ado, return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear…………….sorry, got a little carried away there.

Steve

Steve still maintains a house in Custer Park, although he is hardly ever there. He spends most of his time in New York and Paris, where he is known as an expert on men’s fashion

Sharon

After high school, Sharon got married to Dave T., I think. I heard that she later divorce him. After her divorce became final, she moved to the south of France and is a live ammunition tester.

Mike

Mike is married to a nurse and living in Channahon. At last report, he was thinking of starting his own business. In the evening, Mike likes to make home made ice cream that tastes like sushi.

Jill

Jill went on to college and got a masters degree in knitting. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She likes to sneak into church and shout “Over here!”

Chris

Chris stayed in Braidwood and got married. They run a tomato stand down by the highway. She says her brother is still mean to her and has webbed toes. She still likes to pee in his corn flakes.

Classmates, Part 7

Here is part 7 of my classmates series. I wasn’t expecting to get it published so soon, but I have a little bit of time now that it’s been raining all day.

I guess that’s one good thing about the rain, Another is that I won’t have to open up the summer weekend place this week. The later, the better when it comes to that place.

Maybe more about that later. For now, I hope you enjoy reading about some of my high school class mates.

Susan

Susan married Chuck and has 2 daughters, and lives in Braidwood. She is a nurse at Silver Cross Hospital. Susan is amazing. If you want to know what she looks like now, picture her exactly as she was in high school, with her hair cut to shoulder length. She hasn’t aged a second. She must have that Dick Clark gene. She can often be found chasing people around the town square shouting “Bend over, I’m a nurse!”

Maria

After high school, Maria married that Love dude. I heard she divorced him and married somebody else. In the evenings she likes to run around her front yard in circles, waving her arms above her head and shouting Whirl whirl whirl!!!

Jim

Jim moved out west to become a prospector and minor league baseball coach. He has a part time job chewing food for other people.

Sue

Sue moved to Colorado and became an amateur wrestler. She has a rectal infection that makes her fart allot. They think she caused her pet dog to die.

Harriet

Harriet moved to Kankakee and started a family. She is self employed as a door knob tester. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. She likes to go to clothing stores, go into a fitting room, waite awhile, and then shout “HEY! THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!”

Classmates Part 6

I finally got a few minutes free, so here is the latest installment of my classmates series. Seems like the warmer the weather gets, the less  time I have. Oh well, soon it’ll be too hot and humid to do anything outside. Lets see, what can I dream up next?

 

John

John is married and has children. He lives in Louisiana where he is a college professor. He is an army veteran. He is fluent in Russian. He did most of his hitch in Quantico, Virginia. He likes to sneak up on little old ladies and shout Hey grandma, lets party!. Then when they’re not looking he smears bacon grease on the handles of their walkers. He likes to go to big stores and put boxes of condoms in other people’s carts when they aren’t looking.

Ted

Ted still lives in Braidwood in the family house that he bought from his brothers. He works in the cafeteria of the high school, where the kids call him the guy that works in the cafeteria. He has an illness that makes him scratch allot. When an announcement comes over the PA system, he curls up in the fetal position and screams “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”

Verlin

Verlin joined the military and became a war hero. Now he sells perfume in a department store. Sirens make him cry. He was caught in the local NAPA store practicing his “Madonna look” with plastic funnels.

Debby

Debby is married and she lives on a farm with her family in the Braidwood – Coal City area. She lost all her teeth when she was licking an egg beater after making a cake and her cat turned it on.

Jim

Jim is married and living in Bonfield. He crashed his car allot after high school, and now he talks real slow.

A Must Read

A fellow blogger, Laurie Kendrick, has published a post about the Messiah,  Obama the savior, and his first 100 days in office.

She lists all of the things that he’s done in office so far.

Laurie is a fantastic writer, and I urge everyone to visit her blog and see what she has to say.

To see what she had to say about Obama, go here: http://lauriekendrick.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/our-obamanation-the-first-100-days/

Redneck Tank Top!!!!

 

 

Now I ask you…Who sits and looks at a pair of men’s briefs and says hmmmm… I can make a nice summer top from these!! On the other hand…$6 for a three pack is a good price!!

This was taken in front of the Gardendale, Alabama ,Wal-Mart.  This is hysterical!  Look at it closely.

Classmates, part 5

Well, here we are with the fifth installment of my classmates. Wish I could be more consistent with getting things out, but things are getting a little hectic now that the summer is trying to get here.

Bill

Bill still lives in the vicinity. He married one of Mike’s sisters. He wants to be a doctor and can write his own name. He likes to dart around department stores while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme song.

Lori

Lori is married and still lives in the Braidwood area. She likes country music now (BOOOO!). She likes to chase people through her pumpkin patch in her underwear. She likes to say “Pst, come here!”

David

David is single again. He has 15 children, all with the same name. He owns the world’s biggest flea circus. He still dreams of becoming a rodeo clown.

Greg

Greg is married and living in Braidwood. He is a fireman and has been on TV. He enjoys telling people that he’s a fireman and has been on TV. You might be able to catch him sneaking out behind the firehouse to shake out his hose.

Doug

“Grandpa” Doug is married, and has children and grandchildren. He became a grandfather in his 30’s. He is an independent trucker. He can often be heard on the CB radio saying “Grandma has sores all over and the flies are terrible!”

Classmates, Part 4 (I think)

Well, this is the latest installment of my classmates. Took me long enough to get it up. (nyuk nyuk nyuk) I think it’s the fourth installment. If not, so what? So there!

Betty

Betty is single and works in a dog collar factory. She chews tobacco and rides a bicycle. She likes to date younger men with teeth.

Luther

Luther is divorced. He still dreams of being a television preacher. He is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances. He likes to go to different businesses and use their security cameras for mirrors while he picks his nose.

Angie

Angie is married and has children. She is not allowed to throw heavy things any more. She used to do magic tricks with mice and squirrels.

Bonnie

Bonnie got married and moved away. She raises possums in her back yard. She likes to sit in the corner and make sounds like steam.

Peggy

Peggy got married and moved to Lockport. Her kids make her nervous. She bit the mail man. While handling guns in the hunting department at Wal-Mart she likes to ask the clerks where the antidepressants are.